“The Devil hath not, in all his quiver’s choice,
An arrow for the heart like a sweet voice.”

It’s funny. Just this morning I was thinking about conversations I have and (purposely) do not have with different friends. Most of my friends and I can talk about politics and pretty much agree on things, or agree to disagree. Bush is intolerable, the war was & is a mistake, you know, the usual day-to-day events. But then, there are two friends I have, with whom I know to never, ever discuss politics. They are both staunch republicans, and I’ve learned that they will defend the Republicans blindly, devoutly, against all reason.

Then I thought back to when I was young, in college, and registered to vote for the first time. At some point later I had to declare a party affiliation, to vote in the primaries. Like so many other issues, I thought long and hard about my values, what was important to me, how I saw the world, what I believed in. I considered becoming a republican. I like money, I am a business man, etc. But ultimately I decided to declare myself a democrat. I value people and idealism over business and finance. (The lines were more clearly drawn 20 plus years ago.) So I made a choice. A good choice, and the right choice, for me.

Three years ago, I needed to buy a car for my new job. I did a lot of research, visited dealerships, made a decision, and bought a car (with advice from friends.)

When I was in elementary school, I made my mother make me bologna sandwiches for my lunch bag every day. I loved bologna sandwiches. I knew I loved bologna sandwiches, much to my mother’s chagrin.

Throughout school, elementary, middle, high school, I knew I liked art class the best. And gym class the worst.

When I was eight, I knew I was “different.” I didn’t know why, but I knew. I knew I liked men (well, boys at the time.) I knew I was gay, I just did not know what it meant to my future. And I knew it was something I could not tell anyone else. Not at the tender age of eight.

The point of all of this is simply that we all make choices, we all make decisions, and we all know that there are things that we like and don’t like, regardless of any possible decision we might try to make.

Which leads me to Ken Blackwell. Mr. Blackwell, the Republican candidate for governor of Ohio, tells us that “homosexuality is a lifestyle, it’s a choice.” He also compares gays and lesbians to arsonists and kleptomaniacs.

Political party affiliation can be a choice. For whom we vote is a choice. What car we buy is a choice. With whom we fall in love, are sexually attracted to, want to spend our every waking and sleeping moment with, is not a choice. There is no choice when it comes to sexual orientation. There is no “lifestyle” choice. Either you are attracted to men or you’re not. Either you are attracted to women or you’re not. Either you’re attracted to men and women, or you’re not. No choice. No decision. It just is.

Sources:

Advocate.com

towleroad.com

“The Devil hath not, in all his quiver’s choice, An arrow for the heart like a sweet voice.”
- George Gordon Noel Byron, Lord Byron. (1788-1824)