New Obama Dog Signals New Era Of Socialism

After months of speculation, information has leaked about the Obama Administration’s final move in their secret war against democracy: a six-month old Portuguese water dog, supposedly adopted as Sasha and Malia’s pet, but in reality, White House mascot that will usher in a new era of Socialism.

Significantly, the dog is black and white, an apparent stab at white supremacists who can’t stand the idea of a black man in the White House. That the dog comes from Portugal is problematic also. Rep. Spencer Bachus (R, Alabama) went on Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace to warn America that the creeping Socialist threat is alive and well. Bachus told Wallace, “Portugal is a member of the EU, that same organization that France belongs to.” Bachus went on to say that Portugal has a two-party system, but, unlike America, Portugal’s two parties are “the Socialist Party and the Social Democratic Party. And I personally have identified seventeen members of the United States Congress who are of Portuguese descent.”

Having granted an exclusive interview to The Washington Post,  the Obama sisters coyly claimed their new pet’s name was “Bo”, “in honor of our maternal grandfather, who went by the nickname Diddley.” Exclusive #TCOT sources have revealed, however, that “Bo” actually stands for “Barack Obama”, an effort to serve as a constant reminder to the White House staff that “BO”, i.e. Barack Obama, plans to continue to make, as Patriot Michelle Malkin has called them, “crap sandwiches”, which the White House staff will have to clean up. Republicans have called an emergency press conference for Tuesday. It is expected Eric Cantor will unveil the GOP’s latest addition to their “Road to Recovery”, which will include tax cuts for all non-dog-owning citizens. 

Other groups have noticed that the dog came from the farm of Ted Kennedy. Kennedy, last politician of the Kennedy dynasty, has been hard at work, despite serious health issues, to finalize his plans to convert the country to a vast, computerized, socialized medicine system. The dog is yet another reminder of the strong connection the two secret socialists have had for decades.

(Yes, this is satire.)