DIY NYC
or, See Manhattan Like A Local.

Anil Dash, Six Apart’s blog Guru, just published his How To Visit New York series. Some great tips and information for anyone who does not live here. Even if you’ve visited New York City before, it’s a good read. I am adding my own two cents here, because the great thing about Manhattan is that it is a different experience everyday, for everyone. So, here is my Do-It-Yourself Manhattan Tourists’ Guide: What to do before and when you get here:

1. Talk to all your friends who do not live here, and ask them what you should do and where you should go. Everyone’s been here at least once, right? Write down all their suggestions.

2. Take that list you just spent all of last week making. Carry it with you when you’re here. Avoid anything on it like the plague. I have friends who live all across the country. When they come, I always hear, “Oh, my friend so-and-so was here last week and said that we have to go to (fill in tourist trap name here.) No, you don’t. Trust me. If there’s more than two of any restaurant or store in the city, it’s probably not a good idea. You can see them when you go home. Banana Republics here are just like the ones back home. Our’s just have more markdowns.

3. Now you’re ready to enjoy the city. As Anil said, you do all dress funny. We can spot you a mile away. But that’s OK, because we love tourists. (Secretly, seeing you folks walking about town, wearing your I ♥ NY tee shirts, pleated khaki shorts, and funny baseball caps makes us feel even more “New Yorky,” so, go for it. And keep buying the souvenirs. The money helps. Thanks.)

4. Understand that New York City, regardless of square mileage, is really big. (And let’s just focus on Manhattan, because you probably are not going to make it to Queens, Staten Island, or any other borough.) Pick attractions/events that are close together. You do not want to visit the Statue of Liberty and Macy’s on the same day. (Both are fine to do, by the way. Because there’s only one of each here.) You can’t possibly consider visiting The Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the Cooper Hewitt National Design Museum in one day. Taxis are great. But you don’t want to spend much time in them. Manhattan is really just a bunch of densely-populated neighborhoods. Each very different from any other. Pick one or two neighborhoods for each day you’re here. Roll up your sleeves and get busy. Pick one, maybe two things to see or do in that neighborhood. And walk. Walk all around Hell’s Kitchen. Walk all over the Upper West Side, walk all around the Financial District (but not on the weekend - lots of it is closed, and you won’t get the real feel of it.)

5. Two points on Serendipity. One, the best way to do the city is by mistake. Every day I can, I try to get “lost” here. Because just walking around, block by block, with no destination or attraction in mind, will introduce you to things you never imagined. A weekend street fair running ten blocks down ninth avenue. A great Cuban restaurant in SoHo, housed in an old 50s diner. An old 50s diner. A brand new park where you can rent bikes and ride from the southern tip of the city to the Upper West Side. Every block you walk down, you will find something remarkable. Perhaps it’s a peek into the gorgeous second floor livingroom of a brownstone. Or a tiny art gallery that’s showing works by someone you’ve never heard of, but will in a few years. Or a little coffee shop that isn’t Starbucks. (Remember the rule of no more than two. Not two hundred.) Or a bakery, where even the locals will stand on line for an hour, just for a cupcake. Because they’re that good. Oh - the other point on Serendipity? It’s also a restaurant. Don’t go there. You will wait on line for an hour. It’s a bit expensive. They will not be nice to you. It’s cramped. And you’ll love every moment of it.

6. The gay thing. Yes, there are a lot of us here. Yes, we hold hands and kiss in public. No, we don’t all live in Chelsea. No, not all waiters are gay. Yes, all waiters are actors. (OK, not true. But a lot of waiters are actors. Tip them really well. Like, more than 20%. They need the money. And it will make you feel good.)

7. Money. Yes, it is really expensive here. My rent is more than many people’s mortgage payments. Just accept the fact that you are going to need a lot of it to do it right. So, find the best deals for good hotels. You do not have to stay in Times Square. There are plenty of good hotels outside of Times Square. But stay in a good hotel. It’s worth every penny. Again, tip well. They’ll still be waiting and/or clearing tables, tending bar, driving cabs, playing music on the streets, when you’re back home. But, not everything costs money. For example, Central Park. On the weekends, there are more people walking, running, biking, tanning, and kissing in the park than there are in the entire state of Rhode Island. And there’s even a carnival. And roller-blade dancing. Bring your camera. It is OK to ask someone to take your picture. Just not someone who is obviously running late and walking fast. (Fast to us, not to you. New Yorkers all walk fast. Which brings us to number 8.)

8. Walk faster. Please. You are probably here with the whole family. I think that’s great. But you folks outside the city have really big families. (Understand, some of us live in 500 square foot studios, and have a dog, and to us, that’s our family.) While our sidewalks are probably bigger than yours, you cannot walk four across. You just can’t. There are other people going in the same direction you are. And faster. Two across, tops, works. Any more and you are going to piss us off. We know where we are, where we’re going, and we’re late. Thanks. And, while I know you would never do this at home, you cannot stand at the top or bottom of an escalator or staircase, in front of a revolving door, or cut a line.

9. Taxis, the subway, busses: What ever you do, you really cannot get very lost. If you took the “wrong” subway, go up the stairs, cross over, and go back to the station you came from. You don’t even have to pay for a return trip. Same idea with busses. But you will have to pay for a return trip. Taxis. It’s a really poor system, but here’s what you need to know: The thing on the top of the taxi tells you whether or not it is available. When the center light is lit - usually four letters and numbers, (like G42J,) you can raise your arm and get in. Get in and close the door. Do not ask him if he will take you to whatever place you want to go. If you ask, he might say no, which is illegal unless it’s out of the city. So just get in. If the lights on either side of the numbers are on, he is unavailable. He might have a passenger, or be off duty. Remember, there are other people taking taxis, too. Make sure you’re not “cutting” in front of them. It’s those little violations of unwritten ettiquette that make us seem unfriendly. Because we’ll probably yell at you.

10. Despite point number five, you really need to go here:
• The Circle Line and The Beast
• A Broadway or Off-Broadway Show
• Central Park
• The Apple Store
• The Metropolitan Museum of Art (especially the rooftop sculpture garden, where I celebrated my 40th birthday.)
• MoMA
• The Empire Diner
• Bond 45
• Union Square
• Rockefeller Center

But most of all, have fun. We’ll be here on your next visit, too.